What do you do when…SPOKEN WORD

What do you do when…You realize that you’ve not been designed like other women

We’ve all been encoded with dichotomy (two sides – spirit and flesh) but What do you do when…you learn that your dichotomy equals to more than two? My human nature that already battles against my spiritual WOE-Man-NESS and the mantle that was bestowed before my birth. Yeah there are days I am all over the map but my spirit kicks tail every time. YOU ARE WHAT YOU FEED!

What do you do when…you ask the question if your father laid hands on your mother’s stomach while she carried you – – HE EXPECTING a healthy boy – – instead your mother struggled  INTENSELY having lost one child before you and here lay this 10lb extremely BIG baby girl – – a FIRST-Born – – in a clan of boys. The BIG girl concept – well that’s another spoken word. BTW, no one has answered me yet – sigh I wish I knew to ask it when my grandparents were alive – – why have I waited to my 40’s to get a clue…arghhhhh

What do you do when…you never quite fit in and preferred your own company or that to your brother’s and male cousins.

What do you do when…you finally figure out you are NOT daddy’s lil girl but DADDY’S lil girl – – it is HE who taught me skills that I share with you

What do you do when…you learn that women overall are feisty, some chatter too darn much and others are just downright vindictive and have womanly agendas….hmm…retreat on this one

What do you do when…you truly learn you are COMPLICATED to the opposite sex but yet you think you are simple and an easy read (heck I give them the map)

What do you do when…you realize that often my own prowess in dealing with bro’s might actually be too much for them to handle – shirking from myself ….grrrr

What do you do when…you make a promise to yourself if given another chance you won’t mess it up but then you do anyway…note to self – – why don’t you ever listen

What do you do when…you learn you just might be creating your own drama…hmm clearly you forgot you said you were laying the Alpha cape down because that cannot fortify or promote GOD’S AGENDA

What do you do when…God demands for you to be transparent even at your own expense – – NOT always liking the cape HE gave me

What do you do when… you learn the cape has supernatural capabilities and it’s multidimensional – – I like the color though – – PINK!

What do you do when…you learn you are a detonator but sometimes bombs blow up in your face and not in the area that YOU THINK they were designed and set for – – I HATE BACKFIRES! kicking self – – hmm..Pinky this is NOT YOUR LIFE!

What do you do when…you must go back and relive some pain that you’ve come out of – – EXPECTING the healing would prepare you for the next battle – – ouch three scars just re-opened and are pouring out blood – – where’s the healing balm and peace of mind

What do you do when…the man you care about…YOUR dichotomy kicks in and you wonder if you are in position to truly love him the way HE needs to be loved – – love is selfless – always giving to another – – Bee’s mantra!

What do you do when…you have truly learned you are a woman at your core (no comments from the peanut gallery please) and need to humbly ask (Pinky always assesses and addresses her OWN BEHAVIOR – – my strengths can also be my weakness – – I am not perfect but striving continually to become more Magenta (motivates her to move through life with purpose and drives her to make choices of clarity) for his forgiveness (AGAIN – how many is this? I’m losing count – girl YOU NEED TO DO BETTER)

What do you do when…you NEED a man who is the shade of blue to accept my hues (my imperfect, sometimes crazy acting, and alpha-thinking self) to teach me and incorporate me into HIS WORLD. Note to Pinky TLDM is your vehicle for others – – not on the man you care about

Hmm…did I just say I NEED A MAN? Yeah I guess I did…let me repeat myself – note to Pinky, Bee, QB, Belinda  – I NEED A MAN cos the PINK CAPE don’t keep you warm at night.

What do you do when…you KNOW the church has not properly taught people that when two –kingdom-minded individuals make up their mind to work God’s agenda and NOT theirs there is bound to be scurrying in hell. Two mantles equal hell tore UP from the FLOOR UP!

What do you do when…you are ready to walk away and God kicks you squarely in the tail and reminds you of everything you’ve written – – like somebody reminded me yesterday – – GO BACK AND READ YOUR OWN WRITINGS! sigh…

What do you do when…the things God gives you to give to others – – those demons stare you squarely in YOUR FACE – – I quickly run and hide in my Master’s arms and wait praying and pleading the Blood of Jesus abiding the time to jump back into battle.

Now, I must don my pink cape, dry my tears and continue my Journey of Love for Pinky never gives up – – for the rainbow (God’s love, guidance and direction) SHALL ALWAYS PREVAIL. Satan you want NONE of ME – – I am more than a conqueror and a weak moment will NOT DEFINE me!

Belinda aka Pinky Dons Her Cape

May 6, 2012 7:20 AM

Comments

  1. EAst-Coast Ridda —— I’m feelin this! I especially like it when you shared the following:

    ” Note to Pinky TLDM is your vehicle for others – – not on the man you care about

    Hmm…did I just say I NEED A MAN? Yeah I guess I did…let me repeat myself – note to Pinky, Bee, QB, Belinda aka Belind – I NEED A MAN cos the PINK CAPE don’t keep you warm at night.”

  2. EastCoast Ridda — I LOVE THIS!

    Note to Pinky TLDM is your vehicle for others – – not on the man you care about

    Hmm…did I just say I NEED A MAN? Yeah I guess I did…let me repeat myself – note to Pinky, Bee, QB, Belinda aka Belind – I NEED A MAN cos the PINK CAPE don’t keep you warm at night.

  3. Tracy Heflin says:

    that was deep you went from a lil girl to the present QB….I have so much inside of me and I am trying to wait patiently for God to put it into perspective…..WAIT….no i have been trying to understand on my own. (Sigh)….you are woman of wisdom and it is awesome to be able take parts of your life and one by one and see how God use each stepping stone to bring you closer to him..I guess what I am saying to hear the unfolding your Godly womanhood….AGAIN I am blessed to witness your anointing….it is truly blessing my life…I have been telling several people about you young and old…..God bless you!!

  4. reneesheart says:

    To admit that we need a man is the first step in transparency…..love it Bee and I especially love that one moment of craziness or moment in time….a weak moment will NOT define me. And I believe you or your life……this fight is real but I’m willing to fight for the truth and God’s beauty and blessings….without we are NOT truly living.

    Thanks Bee for your writings, inspirations and wisdom….it’s helpful, insightful and inspiring…..Keep it coming!

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