We Are All Wives-In-Training by Maria Reyes-McDavis

We Are All Wives-In-Training

I’ve heard it said by many of my sisters in Christ that they would consider their time before marriage as a wife-in-waiting period. I would submit to you that a wife-in-waiting is not equipped to be the wife He commands us to be. Rather, we must always be a wife-in-training.

There is no such thing as a wife in waiting. As we serve Christ, up to the very moment we meet our Boaz–we are in training. On the day we forsake all others and make the commitment of a lifetime, and every day thereafter, we are in training. Whether you are single, married, divorced or widowed–like athletes, we must view our life journey with Him, and wife journey, as marathons that require commitment, endurance and continuous training.

Allow me to explain.

The Single Wife-In-Training

For all my single ladies, the first step in the right direction is to let go of your fleshly desire to be a wife-in-waiting. Waiting begs for an expectation of something yet to come. It is only for Him that we wait expectantly. Waiting on anything or anyone else is idle time that bears no fruit. Waiting is searching for a beginning point to your role as wife, missing the opportunity of training as we build a real relationship with Him. A heart can not serve two masters, your love for Him and your incessant need to meet him can not coexist, because He requires absolute devotion and submission. Which just so happens to be the perfect training on how to be the wife He created you to be.

Forget the game of seeking and finding, dating with no end in sight and likely creating soul ties that diminish your capacity to invest in the future. He is the only Man who can finish the good work He began and transform you into the woman He wants you to be so that His son can be all he can be.

When the time comes, in His perfect timing, together you will be ambassadors of the Kingdom, a reflection of your Savior to a world that desperately needs to see it. How can you represent Him as a woman, or wife for that matter, without ever truly being in an intimate relationship with the Lover of your soul, before you consider having a lover?

The Married Wife-In-Training

This is where I find myself, inspite of my own pride, lack of submission and sinful nature. I find myself truly understanding what it means to see him as He does, love him as He does and value him as He does–even when I don’t think he deserves it. Every day I find myself acting less like a clanging cymbal as I strive to become more of a reflection of Him and a living ministry to others. Every 24-hour period I am blessed to be a wife, is a new day of training for the next day and the day after that. Each day I am commanded to love, honor and cherish someone who makes mistakes. I am commanded to forgive and love in spite of. Each day I miss the mark in some way, but as I journey through tests, trials and my own sinful nature I am in training, building endurance and strength for what is yet to come.

The most important ministry you have, starts at home. Your marriage and role as wife are “in the trenches” training, and part of the plan He has for your purpose.

Servant Wife-In-Training

Let’s not forget our sisters who are widowed or divorced. Walking before us, their wisdom should never be overlooked or withheld. Those who have taken the road less traveled, served Him in their marriages and even those who have made mistakes–every test can be a testimony, every mess can be a message and every heartbroken scar can be a trophy of His grace.

In continued service to Him, we must not let our daughters (and sons) suffer for lack of knowledge. Our ministry as a servant wife-in-training, must now become that of elder and mentor to the next generation of wives in training.

Sister to Sister

Every knee shall bow, including yours. What you did with the time He gave you will be accounted for–especially your ministry as wife. Whether you’re single, married or working on number 2, 3, or 4, it’s never too late to commit to your role as a wife-in-training. His grace is more than sufficient for the tasks He commands of us.

Maria Reyes-McDavis

Maria Reyes-McDavis is a follower of Christ, wife, mother and a living testimony of His grace and mercy. She founded Bruised Reed Ministries in an effort to make Him known to the least among us, driven by a passion for the abused, disabled, drug-addicted and often forgotten members of our society. Maria is also the author of Bruised Reed: An Unlikely Story of Redemption, Repentance and Restoration and Impactology: Unleash Your Genius to Change the World. In her spare time, Maria is also an award-winning digital strategist and co-founder of Peas&Carrots, a Los Angeles digital agency dedicated to helping faith-based businesses, ministries, non-profits and entrepreneurs create a unique digital experience to grow successfully. Maria lives in sunny Los Angeles with her 3 children, a long-eared bunny named Grace, and two cuddly pit bulls. Learn more at http://mariareyesmcdavis.com


  1. Thank you for the privilege of contributing 🙂

  2. Excellentemente bien! I’m always blessed reading over here, Bee!

  3. Hi Belinda, I commend you and your guest, Melinda, on the spiritual wisdom and knowledge in this excellent article!

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