Strategies for Relationship Building

Here are fourteen tips that hopefully will change your view on how YOU interact with your LOVE interest or your family and friends.

Good Communication skills are necessary for healthy interactions.

Be Kind.

Don’t fuss.

Don’t call names but find a common ground of discussion and build, for your tone and words speak volumes to another person’s spirit.

  1. Sis, don’t call a man a boy, coward or signify he’s insignificant. Even if YOU think he’s not doing everything he is supposed to, find a common ground of discussion and build him up. Girl, men are extremely connected to YOUR words. God wired them that way just as He wired us to speak encouragement to men—we need each other.
  2. Watch your words and don’t make inappropriate comments. Words once spoken can never be returned to sender like US Mail, FedEx or a UPS package. Derogatory words spoken into the atmosphere have a tendency to lodge themselves in the hearer’s spirit. You can apologize and they can forgive; but let’s all try to remember to think before we speak.

Focus on the goal of your communicating, i.e. what are you trying to tell the person?

Manage your emotions.

Don’t allow the other person’s frustration to feed your frustration. Walk away and or stand down until the air has cleared, then communicate and seek a solution.

Inflections of tones speak volumes. Watch your tones when speaking and use a soft voice. Yelling is not appropriate in any situation.

Remember to show respect. Even if the other person is disrespectful, does that mean you must follow suit?

Learn their love language and make an effort to love them the way that THEY need to be loved. The key to loving the other person unselfishly is to give them what they need–not what YOU think they need or want in terms of love. There are five love languages according to Dr. Gary Chapman: 1. Words of Affirmation, 2. Quality Time, 3. Receiving Gifts, 4. Acts of Service, and 5. Physical Touch. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Be creative in your loving through complimenting those you care about. Find something you like/love about them and build up their ego. Almost everyone loves compliments. Initially, if there is no response continue pouring into that person. You just might be surprised at the outcome. Complimenting someone from our inner spirit comes from our core basis of love. Flattery that is not genuine is like an empty bank account, so be genuine.

Perception is not always reality. It is based upon how each individual communicates and or reacts. Thus communication is necessary to understand the other person and their thought process. Many of us have different perceptions of love or were never shown love; therefore we might not understand what ‘healthy love’ looks like and need to be taught that concept.

Don’t allow the other person’s perceptions or frustrations to permeate your thought process. Meaning our reactions are typically an indication of what is being done or said to us. Thus, make sure there is a valid reason they are upset and or angry. If YOU see something different/have a different understanding create some space between you before you seek a solution.

Give each other time to breathe at the end of the day. Try exchanging and taking care of each other’s needs first before jumping into housework or cooking. This tidbit takes communication and assessing to see what the other person requires.

Last, but definitely not least: LOVE IS A  CHOICE—CHOOSE TO SHOW LOVE!

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February 2012

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