Bee’s Wisdom Hive – Watch YOUR Tone

YOUR TONE WILL EITHER INVITE A MAN TO COME OR INCITE HIM TO LEAVE

Sis, can I drop some words into your spirit? We as women are powerful when we are on one accord and standing in God’s presence and His mission and call on our lives. That is when we are truly validated as the daughter He has called us to be…then and ONLY THEN are WE a true Queen.

Girl, do you know how powerful our words and tones are to a man? In my quest for my psych degree I’ve taken a few Organizational Management courses that involve communication and conflict management. Yeah I know…it looks good on  a resume; but in reality, I took them not just for credits but to brush up on some information that I’ve been aware of for years – that ‘GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS’ ARE VITAL TO HEALTHY INTERACTIONS.  Can I repeat that?  ‘GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS’ ARE VITAL TO HEALTHY INTERACTIONS.

Each of us must be able to communicate effectively our points and thought process whether we are from different cultures, backgrounds or socio-economic status. Bottom line communication is verbal and non-verbal and we all carry inflective tones within our voices. Let’s be real, our range of tone goes from high to low. I’ve heard some voices that send me running and I’m a woman…LOL!

With that being said, women have the ability to rule mightily in their acts of love and more so with their words that match actions. Here’s a tidbit I wrote for one class, “Manage emotions and focus on the goal and the higher purpose of the group – not to become angry for this is not personal (intragroup)”.  Hmm..to this is NOT personal. How many of us can communicate a problem WITHOUT MAKING IT PERSONAL?

Ladies, we must learn to manage our emotions. Hang in there with me a bit – I do have a point I want to convey.

See I believe in building men up, even when I might not agree with how they are conducting themselves; and there is a way to do that on a regular basis. There is ALWAYS SOME GOOD in every man. You might have to dig a bit deeper for some than others, but it’s true. Men were created to be leaders and visionaries. Many have walked off the path away from God’s glory but until death is eminent, I rarely believe it is too late for them or for us (women).

Women have the ability to be creative in how we speak to a man. The problem is sis; when I listen to the majority of us I can literally hear the scorn, rejection and lack of understanding in our voices towards “OUR” men. I can hear a couple of us now stating, “Bee that is NOT TRUE!” Yeah sis…it is. I’ve had a couple of conversations with the a few of the brothers over the past few years; and typically most agree with me; and that is the unfortunate part because sis when you speak to him – – that brother hears every inflection of hurt, pain or scorn whether you intended him to hear it or not.

See I’m not denying that many of us have problems in communicating with each other; but I also adhere to the philosophy that when there is a problem, let’s ALL FIND A SOLUTION TOGETHER. One step is to be aware of our communication skills and sis that starts with our tone. Now I realize I can’t address every issue today, but we can start with something small. When you speak to a man, pay attention to your words, EVEN IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH HIM. Are you conveying respect or disrespect towards him irregardless of his actions and or reactions? Can I share a secret with you? I have learned that when a man is wrong, ALL I HAVE TO DO is step back, keep the tone in line and the respect in mannerisms and God will speak to that man. It doesn’t matter if he has a true relationship with God or not for God speaks to all in all times, seasons and in all situations.  It is He who knows the thoughts and intents of the heart. Keep it pure sis…keep it pure.

We all must examine our motives when we speak to each other. However, many of the ladies are carrying pain and fear from past relationships and they allow that to cloud their interaction with the male species. Sis, male bashing only succeeds in you drawing/pulling in a limited type of brother – one that is not healthy and typically you both become either co-dependent upon each other or one of you becomes the leader with the other following. Neither is walking in position and both need intensive healing from their past pain, emotions and cycles of abuse.

Let’s briefly recap, for I think I might make this an ongoing topic; if you have questions, please let me know.

1. Good Communication skills are healthy for interaction.

2. Focus on the goal of your communicating – what are you trying to tell that brother.  (Next blog will cover – the art of communication to a man – tone – inflection, etc.)

3. Manage your emotions – this means you need to seek your healing from your past

4. Let’s all watch our tones when speaking to a man – use a soft voice – yelling is just not appropriate (smile)

5. Remember to show respect –yeah I know he might be disrespectful, but does that mean you must follow suit? A Proverbs Woman wields her tongue in grace…. Click here for Proverbs 31 Woman

Love ya sis and BE BLESSED until we meet again…My prayers are with you Queen and remember to watch your tone, not just with men but with everyone you interact with on a daily basis for you never know what doors you might OPEN OR CLOSE based on your communication skills.

Bee

6/29/11

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