Bee’s Wisdom Hive – Validation

                                                          Special Volume on Validation June 2, 2011

Hey Sis!

We as women are powerful when we are on one accord and standing in God’s presence and His mission and call on our lives. That is when we are truly validated as the daughter He has called us to be…then and ONLY THEN are WE a true Queen.

Today, I’m blogging about the need for so many of us seeking validation from the men around us. I’m a people-watcher which means I watch behaviors, interactions and spiritual components in our everyday lives. Interactions allow one to see so many components of how we function and where and how we need to change (if necessary). Thus, here I am….(smile)

I’ve already fore-stated that I believe women are powerful, but I also realize we all have so much more growing to do. When I see a sis looking for her validity in a physical man it kinda irks me because what if that man is not in proper spiritual position? Do you know what happens? He sees your emotional vulnerability and if he’s a ‘playa’ he just might decide to prey on your particular emotions that you are exhibiting at that particular time. On the other side of the coin if a bro is in a tight relationship in his love walk with God and is on point then he will help a sista out. Can you see the problem with this sis? A spiritual bro versus a bro walking in his flesh — one builds up while the other tears down; a total opposite, and often in opposition of your growth.

But this is my concern, why are you looking to either to assess your personality and who you are? Why aren’t you approaching God to teach you how to be the Proverbs 31 woman or another woman who exhibits those characteristics of a Proverbs 31 Woman? It just might be we (woman) on a whole depend too much upon men rather than God. Yes, I can hear someone now, “well that is part of the curse”. Yes is it, but why can’t we strive higher and harder? To become all that God calls us to be? On a personal note; I’ve always wanted to be much more than the women around me when I was growing up. I remember at an early age assessing marriages, relationships and saying to myself – “the God I serve has to be more than what I’m seeing”. Well ya know I didn’t quite articulate that at age 19 but you get my point…lol

The problem becomes that if God called us to be help meets – which means we meet the areas that a husband might lack in or his inability to see or able to reach the next place; then it’s next to impossible for YOU to do that for Him (help meet) if you don’t know HIM (God). From personal experience I can say to you directly that when you fall on your face and worship and pray to your Creator – He will let you know about yourself and where you need to change. “A woman who doesn’t know herself is a danger to herself and everyone else around her”. This quote is something God had placed in my spirit a few years ago. Sis I study me first and trust I’m hard on myself for I study my emotions and my reactions and based on feedback from God and those around me I make changes to become a Proverbs Woman.

Many of us are interested in speaking or interacting with men; but when you approach a brother putting the focus on you rather than him can be quite unnerving for him. Typically some of the first thoughts that go through his head are: is she selfish, will she be able to focus on me, sounds like she has some insecurity issues etc. He might think you are drop-dead gorgeous…BUT…

So ladies…rather than approaching a MAN for validation let’s make a PACT to start seeking the face of God; and this applies to all of us; whether we are single, married, divorced, widowed, no matter where we find ourselves. The awesome part is when you are in position; you won’t need to seek compliments or validation because that is when a brother will give you props without any assistance. Trust me sis, he will tell you what he thinks and if he’s interested…well WATCH OUT…lol

A simple way to begin to seek God’s validation is setting a time every morning to converse with Him. Approach Him as a lover desiring intimacy. You know ALL OF US DESIRE INTIMACY! In addition, ask God to place a Godly woman in your life to assist you if you need help. To go higher you must be able to model someone and or something different.

Let’s recap:


A GOOD MAN will help you while a ‘PLAYA’ will PLAY YOU!


REMEMBER TO put your focus on the man and not yourself.


We’ll talk about loving a man past your fears ….healing, going into the spirit and some other good stuff real soon.

Be blessed until we meet again…My prayers are with you Queen


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