Bee’s Man Cave – Men want intimacy

Greetings to you sir! I just want to leave a few thoughts with you today. I don’t want to go too deep though; but I might deviate a bit so just be patient with a sis…lol

Recently I was having a conversation with one of my male cousins (Rod). Really, Bro he truly is my cousin, by blood, LOL. Anyway, based on something he said to me, I responded with, “Every guy wants love and intimacy” and presto-chango – – here was the concept for today’s thought process. Now mind you this is a REASONABLE request. Yet IMO (In my opinion) and you can agree or disagree; is that many men don’t know how to go about achieving love and intimacy in their relationship and or marriage. I am quite aware that some men have gained the wisdom and knowledge; and they are happy campers while others are literally fumbling through the process. They conceptualize but never quite hit the home run or make that winning basket. OK, I promise NOT to make sport analogies anymore today; at least I’ll try not to, LOL.

Last week on my Facebook and Twitter page/stats I alluded to the fact that Real Men do love intimacy but sometime you have to help them create it; but you can’t teach what you don’t know. Of course, I was speaking to the ladies. Beyond that statement I mentioned that personally, I would create the intimacy that I was looking for in the man I’m with. Let’s not get it twisted Bro; intimacy is deeper than sex which I address in Bee’s View of Intimacy…and it doesn’t necessarily equal sex If you haven’t read it Sir, just click the link in blue and a new page will open up for you. I promise you you won’t be bored, LOL.

If one doesn’t understand intimacy or what it consists of, how can one teach or even portray what they are NOT familiar with? There are all kinds of definitions available and more so the fact is that many have a twisted view of what intimacy consists of; YET I believe to obtain an understanding we might need to backtrack, reassess and rethink not only our emotions but our concepts and place proper information in context to achieve a wholeness surrounding acts of intimacy. I hear YOU, “Bee, what are you trying to say?” LOL. I’m sorry that was the inherent psychologist coming out, LOL. Bottom line, LET’S START OVER! Give what you expect to receive and even if you don’t receive it immediately, keep giving, learning and developing NEW STRATEGIES TO CREATE INTIMACY.

Yesterday, I missed my gym workout but it was worth it for I had an opportunity to verbally commune with some Bro’s. When one found out I wrote a prayer book for the ladies, he wanted his wife to read it which is understandable. However, I had to gently remind him to be careful of his attitude in HOW he presented it and how he suggested she read it. I explained how a man comes at a sis can either leave a mark of negatively or make a situation palatable. I then proceeded to remind him that even if SHE won’t act right that shouldn’t negate the fact that he is still to do his part, and the man sets the temperature in the home. Bro, did you know that YOU ARE THE THERMOSTAT? I know, I know, I HEAR YOU as you sputter out – – “She acts crazy, she’s emotional, etc.” Have YOU tried remaining consistent? Or, do you allow yourself to get caught up in the drama? Or, do you retreat for another day? You and I both know the battle on a different day will be the same, the day is just different and she might have on a different outfit but what she addresses is the same. I KNOW YOU feeling me on this one, LOL. But seriously, if you answered yes to any of the listed questions, you might want to try another method.

Bro, YOU ARE A VISIONARY! Have you considered asking your Handler aka God for some assistance on this matter? He knows that (particular) woman’s intricate mind frame and how she ticks. What better course of action to sustain a level of intimacy with her then to learn her and be ready to thwart the actions and reactions of her repeated itinerary of drama? LOL

Have you considered that when you retreat and or give up you are only allowing the situation to permeate which typically blows up? Here, I’ll be transparent for a moment. Personally, if a man cannot shut me down it’s a wrap for him, i.e. we will NOT work! On the other hand, a bro that can shut me down with one word, well Bro, he gets my respect. I might not LIKE him at the moment, but once I calm down and assess to see if he was correct; well let’s just say he has my respect and I’m good. Trust, me I realize not every woman is wired like me, HOWEVER, if we are to get back to rightful order in our homes and lives the process must change.

Let me be clear, the shut down shouldn’t happen out of meanness, abuse or you just being contrary, but Bro do it IN LOVE! Love covers a multitude! Love blesses! Love heals! I believe YOU have the ability to heal the soul of the woman you are with, but YOU must TRY! Just like I tell the women ‘work hard or go home!’ Oops, another sports analogy, LOL

Bro, this blog took a totally different turn this morning as I was completing it, but see I was listening to MY HANDLER! LOL.  So for today let’s close and I think in Part II we can address ways to create an atmosphere of intimacy in your life with the woman that you love. We can talk about transparency and how you can communicate that to her. Not in your head Bro, but out loud, LOL. See I learned that many of the bro’s talk to the ladies in their heads – you talk to us ALL the time but often it doesn’t translate OUT of your HEAD into HER heart. You thought you articulated it but most of the times you haven’t. For example, when was the last time you told her you loved her? Everybody, please don’t answer at once, LOL. But, seriously Bro she needs to hear it, and more so your words backed up with action(s) speaks volumes into a woman’s spirit.

Have YOU seen my blog on how I feel about a Purpose Driven Man? No, as I fan myself, go take a peep! LOL

Hmm…I told you I might deviate, but I hope you enjoyed my words of wisdom. Bro, until we meet again…I speak CLARITY AND INCREASED WISDOM into your life and atmosphere.

Much love,

Bee

6/7/12  5:44 AM

Comments

  1. BEO…. i fell off the wagon early in the diatribe with the following statement which you expressed: “…. is that many men don’t know how to go about achieving love and intimacy in their relationship and or marriage.” I am certainly one of the “dis-agrees” that you spoke about. However… I not only disagree with the content…. i am kind of annoyed with the premise….but… You and I have been open and honest about each other so this won’t surprise you….. Mad Love though for the piece!

    Ya Midwest Boi!
    Red Wagon Express

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